Nikah Nikah — the sacred Islamic marriage agreement — is often surrounded by cultural habits, half-truths, and misunderstandings. Many people hold on to ideas that sound religious but actually come from tradition, not the Qur’an or Sunnah. In this guide, “11 Myths About Nikah,” we uncover these misconceptions, explain how culture sometimes overshadows true Islamic teachings, and share practical, faith-based advice for couples who wish to begin their marriage on a foundation of sincerity, clarity, and Islamic values.
The Core of Nikah: A Divine Covenant, Not Just a Cultural Event
At its heart, nikah is a divine covenant—a solemn promise made before Allah. The Quran beautifully describes this union:
“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed in that are signs for a people who give thought.” (Quran 30:21)
This verse highlights that marriage is meant to be a source of peace, love, and compassion, not a burdensome display of wealth.
A common misconception is that nikah must be a grand, elaborate wedding. While celebrations can be joyful, the actual nikah is a simple, legally binding contract—requiring an offer from the groom, acceptance from the bride (or her wali), and two witnesses. Everything else (lavish halls, expensive outfits, huge guest lists) is cultural, not required.
Practical Tip: Keep your nikah simple, meaningful, and within your means. As the Prophet ﷺ said:
“The most blessed marriage is the one with the least burden (expenses).” (Al-Bayhaqi)
In this guide, we’ll break down common misconceptions about nikah, share the truth based on Quran and Sunnah, and give practical tips so couples can start their journey with clarity and confidence.
11 Myths About Nikah
Myth 1: The Requirement of a Mahr Is a ‘Bride Price’
Truth: One of the most misunderstood aspects of Nikah in Islam is the mahr. Many believe it’s a price paid to the bride’s family—but in reality, mahr is a personal gift from the groom to the bride, symbolizing respect and commitment. It belongs entirely to her to use as she wishes.
The Quran clearly says:
“And give the women [in marriage] their mahr as a free gift.” (Quran 4:4)
The words “free gift” highlight that it’s not a transaction, but a sign of trust and financial independence for the bride. While some set large mahr amounts for prestige, the Prophet ﷺ encouraged modesty so marriage remains accessible.
Practical Tip for Couples: Discuss the mahr openly. Choose an amount that’s meaningful yet manageable, whether it’s money, gold, or something symbolic. Avoid turning it into a status competition—it’s about sincerity, not wealth.
Myth 2: The Mahr Must Be Extravagant
Truth: In some cultures, mahr has become a status symbol, causing financial strain before the marriage even begins. Islam allows mahr to be simple and flexible—it can be money, property, or even something valuable. The Prophet ﷺ’s daughter Fatimah had a humble mahr, proving simplicity is honored in Islam.
The Quran instructs:
“And give the women [upon marriage] their [bridal] gifts graciously.” (Quran 4:4)
Practical Tip for Couples: Choose a mahr that reflects your values and financial reality. Grooms offer with love, not pressure. Brides value sincerity over luxury.
Myth 3: Mahr Is Just a Cultural Tradition
Truth: Some dismiss mahr as just another dowry custom, but in Islam, it’s an obligatory right for the bride, separate from cultural dowry practices. It provides her financial independence and security.
Practical Tip: Ensure the mahr is clearly agreed upon before nikah and given with sincerity.
Myth 4: The Wali’s Role Is to ‘Give Away’ the Bride
Truth: Some think the wali (guardian) has full authority to decide a woman’s marriage without her input. Islam actually gives women the right to consent. The wail’s role is to protect her rights, help ensure she marries someone suitable, and act in her best interest not to control her life.
Practical Tip for Couples: If there’s disagreement with the wali, speak respectfully and involve a scholar or Imam to explain Islamic principles of consent. Often, a wali’s caution comes from love, open communication can bridge the gap.
Myth 5: Nikah Guarantees a Perfect Marriage
Truth: Nikah is a blessed start but not a magic formula for a happy, conflict-free relationship. Successful marriages require ongoing effort, patience, and communication.
The Quran reminds us:
“And live with them in kindness.” (Quran 4:19)
Cultural pressures, like rigid gender roles or unrealistic expectations, can harm relationships. In reality, healthy marriages grow through mutual respect and problem-solving.
Practical Tip: Discuss expectations before marriage, and keep communication open afterward. Consider Islamic marriage courses or counseling.
Myth 6: Nikah Always Means an Arranged or Forced Marriage
Truth: Islam forbids forced marriage. Consent is essential for both bride and groom. The Quran says:
“…marry women of your choice…” (Quran 4:4)
In many Muslim cultures, families help introduce potential spouses, but the final decision must come from the couple themselves.
Practical Tip for Couples: If you feel pressured, seek guidance from a trusted Imam or elder who understands Islamic marriage rights. Remember, Islam values your choice.
Myth 7: You Can’t Have Nikah in Muharram
Truth: Some believe marriage in the month of Muharram is forbidden, but there’s no authentic evidence for this. Marriage is permissible any time of the year.
Practical Tip: If marrying in Muharram, keep the celebration respectful to the month’s sacredness. avoid extravagance and focus on the spiritual blessing.
Myth 8: Private or Informal Nikah Is Always Valid
Truth: For a nikah to be valid in Islam, it must include:
- A clear proposal and acceptance (ijab & qabul)
- Two Muslim witnesses
- An agreed mahr
Secret or unregistered marriages can cause legal issues, especially for the bride’s rights.
Practical Tip: Always ensure your marriage meets both religious and legal requirements to protect both partners.
Myth 9: Nikah Halala Is a Quick Fix After Divorce
Truth: Islam strictly prohibits using nikah halala as a loophole. After a third divorce, a woman can only remarry her first husband if she has been in a genuine marriage with another man, and that marriage ends naturally, not as a staged arrangement.
Practical Tip: Approach divorce seriously and avoid rushing decisions. Seek counseling before taking final steps.
Myth 10: Temporary or Secret Marriages Are Acceptable
Truth: Some believe that marriages kept secret from the community, or those arranged for a temporary period (mut’ah or similar), are acceptable in Islam. However, Islam emphasizes transparency, fairness, and public acknowledgment in marriage to protect the rights of both spouses, especially the wife. Hidden or temporary arrangements often lead to injustice, emotional harm, and social problems.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Announce the marriage…” (Tirmidhi)
This guidance ensures that a marriage is known to the community, safeguarding the honor and security of the couple. Temporary marriages made only for convenience or pleasure contradict the spirit of nikah as a lifelong commitment based on mutual respect and responsibility.
Practical Tip for Couples: Always conduct your nikah openly, in the presence of witnesses, and fulfill legal registration requirements where applicable. Publicly acknowledging your marriage not only strengthens trust but also ensures both partners have their rights protected under Islamic and civil law. If cultural or family concerns make publicity challenging, seek advice from a trusted scholar on how to proceed without compromising Islamic principles.
Myth 11: Nikah Must Be a Lavish Ceremony
Truth: Islam values simplicity. The nikah contract only requires proposal, acceptance, witnesses, and mahr. Extravagance can lead to unnecessary debt.
Practical Tip: Plan a celebration that’s joyful yet modest, focusing on the purpose of marriage rather than impressing others.
Final Word
Nikah in Islam is meant to be a source of love, peace, and mercy, not a burden of cultural pressures or misunderstandings. By separating myths from truth, couples can build a relationship that’s both spiritually blessed and emotionally fulfilling.